In the words of LMFAO* – I workout.
Over the years, I’ve run, I’ve done classes at the YMCA, I’ve skipped through enough aerobics to qualify me as an instructor, and I’m no stranger to the hand weights. But I’ve learned over the years that what’s best for me is to do my sweating at home, early in the morning, to some dvd or another.
Years ago, I made a vague promise to myself never to buy a video with words like “Ripped”, or “Shredded”, or with an X substituted for any letter on the cover. Those words seemed too loaded with body-hatred for me.
Somewhere along the line, I broke that vow to myself. As a result, I own videos with all those horrible words, X-substitutions and all. I *heart* Jillian Michaels, who motivates her exercisers by saying, “I want you to feel like you’re going to die.” (I know – it’s crazy, right?) Also in my workout arsenal: some Michelle Dozois and Jackie Warner to keep things interesting and varied. (And I workout to Jackie in spite of her scathingly-titled book, ‘This Is Why You’re Fat.’)
Whaaaaat has happened to me?
Now that I’ve passed over to the other side, and have been working out intensely for a while, I decided to try some of those Insanity workouts that everyone is talking about. I found some free videos (thanks, YouTube!) and although all I could see was a woman going through the workouts while the dvd was being played offscreen, I got the moves.
What. The. What.
Having done four workouts from this series of sixty, here’s what I think Insanity has going for it:
1) It’s made its creator an instant millionaire.
2) It exemplifies truth in advertising, folks. What it says on the cover is what it actually delivers.
Here are reasons why you won’t catch me singing the praises of Insanity:
1) These are workouts that no one can complete entirely. Not even the people the instructor shows in the videos can do it all.
2) This is the first workout I have ever done that made me think, “Wait, am I actually shortening my life by doing this?”
3) If the creator/workout guru won’t publish his last name (he’s simply Shaun T), I think there’s a reason for that. He’s getting out ahead of the legal suits that are sure to follow when someone’s heart bursts wide open in attempting one of these workouts.
4) To truly follow the Insanity program, you have to workout six days a week. The only things I can commit to doing six days out of every week are waking up, breathing and eating.
I am not a sissy. I am not out of shape (ask my husband). I have pushed two kids out of my body – I am determined. That being said, I don’t want to subject my body to the Insanity workouts on a regular basis. I want all my body parts in good working order thirty years down the road.
I don’t need to go any further down the rabbit hole. I love working out, but I’m not about to go crazy for it.
*From their song, ‘Sexy and I Know It’.