I’ve figured out the most wonderful way to streamline my daily activities:
Stop giving a sh*t about how I look (or smell).
On the vanity scale, I’d say I’m a seven or an eight – I’m not quite the gal who won’t leave the house without makeup, but I have been known to spend 30 minutes in my closet deciding what to wear, even if I’m not going anywhere. I am horrified to step out to the Waffle House with my family without showering beforehand. (And I have to select my clothes carefully, because I don’t want to ruin good clothes with the smell of syrup and grease.)
I workout fairly frequently, and most mornings do not give me the time my vanity demands to be camera-ready by the time I drop my second child off at school. I reluctantly got used to the idea of sitting in my own filth while doing carpool, but that was my absolute limit. I couldn’t wait to get home and shower and dress and maybe put on some mascara…and how did it get to be 11:00 already? It’s practically lunch and I haven’t accomplished a thing!
When push comes to shove, people change. Well, people don’t change; they just get tired. And I got tired of never being able to leave the house to run even a quick errand before lunchtime.
And – this is very embarrassing to admit – I was positive that if I stepped out of the house unwashed from my workout or in my slummy carpool clothes that someone would take a picture and I would end up on the cover of a tabloid.
Yeah, so in my mind, I’m not only vain, but also Angeline Jolie.
I occasionally watch Joan River’s show, Fashion Police. (So that makes two shows I watch besides 30 Rock!) Joan was kvetching about some starlet’s horrible outfit – the fit or the color or the length. Jon marveled at this, saying something along the lines of, ‘Wow, that’s pretty mean. How can you watch that?’ And I said, ‘I say the same things to myself when I get dressed every day!’
The point being that I’ve consumed enough judgemental crap disguised as fashion advice to think that the general public is actually paying attention to how I look.
So, after I got tired enough of having to be all put together just to make an appearance at Wal-Mart, I decided to make the bold step of running a few errands, post-workout, sans shower.
The most amazing thing happened.
No one gave a damn.
God help us all when it gets warmer and I can’t hide my greeeesy hair under a hat, but I have found a new way of living. Stand aside – and preferably upwind – while I go get some stuff done.