Look for me on the cover of US Weekly…

I’ve figured out the most wonderful way to streamline my daily activities:

Stop giving a sh*t about how I look (or smell).

On the vanity scale, I’d say I’m a seven or an eight – I’m not quite the gal who won’t leave the house without makeup, but I have been known to spend 30 minutes in my closet deciding what to wear, even if I’m not going anywhere.  I am horrified to step out to the Waffle House with my family without showering beforehand. (And I have to select my clothes carefully, because I don’t want to ruin good clothes with the smell of syrup and grease.)

I workout fairly frequently, and most mornings do not give me the time my vanity demands to be camera-ready by the time I drop my second child off at school.  I reluctantly got used to the idea of sitting in my own filth while doing carpool, but that was my absolute limit.  I couldn’t wait to get home and shower and dress and maybe put on some mascara…and how did it get to be 11:00 already?  It’s practically lunch and I haven’t accomplished a thing!

When push comes to shove, people change.  Well, people don’t change; they just get tired.  And I got tired of never being able to leave the house to run even a quick errand before lunchtime.

And – this is very embarrassing to admit – I was positive that if I stepped out of the house unwashed from my workout or in my slummy carpool clothes that someone would take a picture and I would end up on the cover of a tabloid.

Yeah, so in my mind, I’m not only vain, but also Angeline Jolie.

I occasionally watch Joan River’s show, Fashion Police.  (So that makes two shows I watch besides 30 Rock!)  Joan was kvetching about some starlet’s horrible outfit – the fit or the color or the length.  Jon marveled at this, saying something along the lines of, ‘Wow, that’s pretty mean.  How can you watch that?’  And I said, ‘I say the same things to myself when I get dressed every day!’

The point being that I’ve consumed enough judgemental crap disguised as fashion advice to think that the general public is actually paying attention to how I look.

So, after I got tired enough of having to be all put together just to make an appearance at Wal-Mart, I decided to make the bold step of running a few errands, post-workout, sans shower.

The most amazing thing happened.

No one gave a damn.

God help us all when it gets warmer and I can’t hide my greeeesy hair under a hat, but I have found a new way of living.  Stand aside – and preferably upwind – while I go get some stuff done.


5 thoughts on “Look for me on the cover of US Weekly…

  1. Good lord! This is me everyday! You know how much I hate showering and/or washing my hair, but I also spend HOURS picking out just the right thing to wear to {insert random activity here}. I for some reason feel like I can’t wear the same outfit to an event if I’ve already been photographed in it yet I find it perfectly acceptable to pick E up from school still in all my hot yoga glory! There- I’m done & I feel better!

  2. Karen, in the summer-that’s what baseball caps are for. Find one that’s neutral if you aren’t a fanatical fan like me & that’s how you get away with it then. Trust me, I’m an expert on how to hide a bad hair day! 🙂

  3. Pingback: High Maintenance « Benign Neglect

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