I’ve skipped Grande altogether

I got away from the fam tonight (could you hear the tires on my minivan squealing as I pulled away?) and strolled the mall.  I worked up a thirst and ponied up to the bar at the Starbucks in the middle of Lenox Square.  My usual Starbucks order is a Tall decaf soy latte – Tall because I’m cheap, decaf because I like getting to sleep at night, and soy because it gives the drink the perfect amount of sweetness without extra sugar.

Tonight, in honor of feeling totally fried, I decided to up the ante and order a Grande.  I ordered my drink but the barista (or partner or BFF or whatever Starbucks is calling their employees nowadays) seemed to have a bit of trouble:

Me:  ‘I’ll have a Grande decaf soy latte.’

BFF:  ‘Gotcha.’  He stepped to the side, gave me my change.  Then, ‘You wanted a latte?’

Me:  ‘Yeah, Grande decaf soy latte.’

BFF:  ‘Gotcha.’  Then, ‘Non-fat milk?’

Me:  (pause) ‘Soy.’

Whew.  Glad we cleared that up…  Still, at the other end of the bar, I ended up with a Tall decaf soy latte in my hand.  I sat down for a few minutes, ate a snack, checked my receipt.  Yup, I had paid for a Grande.  This is the kind of person I am – I had to sit down at one of those tiny tables for a few minutes to work up the nerve to go back to the counter and ask for the drink I had paid for.  But I must have pointed out the mistake the right way – they upgraded me to a Venti.

Behold! I am a middle class person with coffee!

I can wax poetic about Starbucks.  It’s not about the coffee – good god, I make better stuff in my kitchen.  Starbucks can go on and on about its blends and its coffee growers and whatnot – ppfffftt.  They know and I know that Starbucks is about one thing only – selling the American dream, one overpriced white-and-green-logoed cup at a time.  Starbucks is about the cup in your hand, the way it feels, the way it smells, the way you feel walking around with it – not what’s in the cup.

So, here’s what we’ve learned about me in the past week – I’m a sucker for Disney and Starbucks.  Would you like to hear about my Toyota Sienna next?

Sigh.

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One thought on “I’ve skipped Grande altogether

  1. Remember that movie “You’ve Got Mail” ? Tom Hanks talks about the Starbucks phenom. and how for around $3 it somewhat defines you. What and how you order says something about you and gives you a sense of individuality and creativity ! PS – you should have made him upgrade you to “Trente” for screwing up your order !!!

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