How one woman goes down easy for Disney

I am the cheapest date EVER.  To be fair, I was hit with the equivalent of an economic roofie :

Disney, my hat is off to you.  I walk into your store, intent on keeping it casual, maybe collecting some ideas for some future gift-buying occasion for the kids – and then you go and pull something like this.  Hailey mentions to an employee that her birthday is six days away, and within moments, she’s been presented with a certificate, a button, her name is up on the wall, and the whole store has stopped to congratulate her.

All it takes is about $o.oo1 worth of paper and time, and Disney has me right where he wants me.  I’m leaning in to that magical feeling that just happens around him, and my head is spinning a little and I’m not saying no when he moves in to tap my wallet and the next thing you know, I’m at the cash register and yes, yes, YES!  Yes, to the stuffed animals! The dress-up shoes! The overpriced pajamas! The Cars merch!  Yes, oh, GOD, YES!!!!!

Then I’m out in the daylight, blinking, making the walk of shame to my car with huge plastic bags emblazoned with that mouse.  Disney can be pretty satisfied that he’s made the score, but me?  Now I’m poorer and I have more shit to keep up after when we unpack those bags at home.  Dammit.

I’ll know better next time.  Next time, I won’t fall for that special brand of Disney, Inc. magic.  Next time…


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